i hear the hadida

i am home, under the african sun. surrounded by the familar, the voices of my people, the sights and scents of south african spring.

i did not expect to be here, i expected to be watching summer fade from my ayrshire window.

the unexpected has brought me here, here where i need to be at this time.

our dear g, my son's partner, soul mate, life love ...
suffered a massive heart attack last tuesday.

we have to wait now, while machines monitor his body and time accomplishes her healing. there are no guarantees, there is hope and love, belief in his strength and his will to live.

19th august 2010

today i delivered ms sugar to glasgow airport ...
herself, her two cats and five suitcases boarded the plane for
newark.

sometimes ... love is not enough.

i found the fox

in the summer heat
i found the fox
and the cold burn of anger
the fox ran the line
where trains travel
clickety clack
full of humanity
yawning their way to work
the rumble of great freight carriers
coal and oil on the line
to somewhere
in the cooling dark
of the long days end
i found the fox
and the ice of rage
the fox sat in the shadows
on the bank beneath the line
waiting for what
and i remembered
that nothing lasts forever

Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

four weeks

today herself has been here for four whole weeks.
a couple of times i spent three months with her in the states
but this is the longest time herself has been away from
new york!

today my lady is a little homesick and weepy, missing
her daughters,friends and familiar culture.
almost every day we discover a new something, a difference in
the way we view the world around us. we agree, we disagree, we
fight and make up. sugar and the wolf are learning to live
together ... rueful smile!

for myself ...
she has brought laughter back into my life, we laugh, we giggle,
at times our sides ache and tears of joy run from our eyes.
my mind is constantly challenged, ms sugar is a woman of
considerable intelligence and deep held beliefs. naturally at this
beginning stage of our life together, we fairly often find
ourselves at odds. we are no spring chickens! herself grew
up in the bronx and i grew to adulthood under the african sun.
so ...
is it at all likely that we will agree on everything? hell no!

the wonder of our relationship lies in the fact that we are
together, we are commited to a shared future.
our love and time together will enrich and enliven us both.

for now, it is enough to drift off to sleep, knowing that my
lady is safe by my side, that tomorrow will not bring a heart wrenching
separation.
i wake in the morning secure in the knowledge that whatever
the day may bring - we are together.

we survived a long distance relationship for five years
and five months.
it was never easy!
was it worth the wait?

hell yes!!

sugar settles on scottish soil!

she said she was coming, i knew she meant what she said,
but ...
did i believe that herself would ever actually arrive on
these scottish shores ... no way!

the cat's were supposed to arrive about a week before herself and
i was to collect them from glasgow airport. thursday was a rather grey and
dreary day, glasgow is not an enormous airport, it still took me a
while to find the correct cargo warehouse.
i sat in the car and awaited their arrival, if the furry critter
actually arrived, well then ...
i would have to believe that herself would surely follow!
my mobile rang, the cats had arrived, time to collect the first
instalment of the great trans pond migration.

herself arrived the following tuesday with six, yes six huge
suitcases.
my dream was about to come true!
my life would be forever changed...

while i wait for you

today
i listen to the rain
most times so soft
unheard
not so today

today
i watch the invading light
no visible sun
to herald
a new day

today
the coffee smell
drifts across the morning
calling taste buds
to abandon sleep

today
i burn scented candles
window open wide
as i exhale illicit smoke
from a smoke free building

today
i find contrariwise.org
literary tattoos
the wonder of words
skin deep

today
i wonder at the spaces in between
and what they mean
how much we have to learn
our universal insignificance

today
i write these words
which grow within my soul
and live beyond my hand
and i wait for you

Copyright © 2010 by Eryll Oellermann

the bells of st. meddans

this morning i took myself off for a brisk stroll along the
shore.
beautiful, the tide was way out, leaving acres of sand for
ball chasing dogs to hurtle across.
older couples were strolling, no particular hurry. young
couples held hands and snogged at the oceans edge.
toddlers toddling, moms and dads pushing strollers filled
with strapped in tykes.

i left the sea front and cut across in front of the town hall,
then down and across into the high street for a window shopping
wander.
i quickened my pace as i turned into church street and headed
for home.
the bells of st. meddans were ringing, calling
the faithful to prayer. the somewhat late faithful were
scurrying, heels clattering on the stone pavements. dressed in
their sunday best and determined not to embarrass themselves
with a tardy entrance!

life is good!

home again, warm spring sunshine streaming through the windows.
my rainbow maker whirling away, creating joyous patterns
across the living room.

i popped a piece of pork in the oven for our sunday lunch roast.
the children are coming for lunch today. the omnivorous part of
my family, not the vegans!

kettle on, coffee brewing, time to blog.