what fairy dust?

inimitable witchling
maker of magic, weaver of spells
what fairy dust
from her sweet hand falls

binding my heart
my eyes made blind to all
but her sweet light
entranced, eternally enchanted

i wish for nothing
but to share the dance of life
with she
true guardian of my heart

i catch my breath
grow dizzy with her presence
what price immortality
if separation was the coin

sealed, enchanted circle
with time paused, suspended
while love's pulse beats
a wild tattoo of want

and every breath so deep
inhaled to hold the memory of her
held heart close
to cherish in the time of distance

All materials Copyright © 2004-2008 by Eryll Oellermann

"us"

excellent to have my playmate back, perhaps i should say...
excellent to be back!
for the past year i have been determined to distance my heart, to find fault,to take care of me!
the mind is a powerful instrument, it worked and i was miserable...

what changed?
me... i guess.

we still live on opposite sides of the ocean. i still have a need to be available for my family in scotland. herself still wants and needs to live in the good old u.s of a.
our circumstances remain exactly as they were.

for the now, very little has changed.
my mind, however, envisions a future, a future in which herself and i spend a goodly portion of our lives together!

i love america, but... as a woman who loves a woman, i am a temporary guest. herself has no right to import my permanent presence into her country. may hap mr obama (should he reach the heights to which he aspires) will take up his lance and fight the good fight on our behalf.
or not...

in the meantime...
i am fortunate to live in the land of equal opportunity!
civil partnership is an inalienable right. herself will travel to scotland and we will seal our deal. this will allow me peace of mind as herself and myself will be legally joined. my rights will become her rights, my safe harbour a welcoming home port for the two of us.

we will wander, while we are still able, between our two countries. we will have two homes ... an ideal arrangement?
no way!
but... it is a way, a plan for the future, an assurance of some type of togetherness. in november we will have been together for four years, we have loved and laughed, fought and feared, trusted and doubted. we have tried to take the "easy way" out, by attempting to disentangle our lives. it just does not work... our hearts continue to call, our minds thirst for contact.
who are we?
friends, partners, lovers, playmates?
it really does not matter... we are "us" and "us" is a magical place. "us" is a comforting cloak of concern and kindness, a place to reach out and know peace. a rocky road filled with laughter and teasing, a world of experiences shared. "us"... two grown women, arrogant, opinionated and obstinate.
"us" is a place all our own, where others delight to visit!

the power of love

so...here i am.
in new york... in the summertime.
did life work out as i might have expected?
no way!

love is a question, waiting to be answered.
it sways to it's own rhythm.
and we?
lost in the dance...
we follow the music!

change is inevitable, security improbable...

the face of love an ever changing constant.

the despair,anger, frustration of a troubled relationship. fueled by distance and supported by the great 'i am'.
the unfolding trail of drama leading to a slow withdrawal, a creeping, seeping coldness.
a recipe for disaster?
or, a revealation awaiting?

keep the faith, believe! love seldom dies... it mostly hibernates.
love is an endlessly renewable resource.
love is capable of forgiving the unforgivable.
love is the courage to accept that the road may be rocky and the destination a surprise!

so i find myself, sticky with the new york heat, holding herself, with arms that have never forgotten her.
i find myself, sitting beneath tall trees, lost in the calm comfort of her presence.
i find myself, remembering that which was and looking forward to that which is still to come.
will life be as i wish... who the hell knows!
my life will unfold, one page at a time. my journey, my destiny...
a learning, a growing, a consistantly miraculous, unfolding enigma.


i stand in awe of the power of love.