"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but i think I have ended up where I needed to be."
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Wednesday, 24 September 2008

forever friends







today, i am at peace.

yesterday herself and myself resumed communication. we have decided not to allow the complications of our relationship to interfere with our friendship.

i own a deep and abiding love for herself. unfortunately, we are who we are ... it seems that 'now' is not our time.

our friendship is sacred, i cherish her presence in my life...
i cherish our ability to laugh, to play, to debate endlessly on the meaning of being.
i enjoy our arguments, for we are as different as two people can be!
the existence or absence of evil, vegetarian versus omnivore,my penchant for becoming lost versus her need to arrive at an intended destination...
i could go on forever, four years of together is a long time.
herself is my normality, my reality.
herself is and always will be ... my beloved friend.

Sunday, 21 September 2008

alone




single

has some kind of ring to it! i mean, absolute freedom... nobody to please but myself.

mind! having nobody to please but yourself could be quite lonely, maybe even boring ... horror of horrors!

for the first time in almost four years, i actually feel single... no obligations. no need to check my roving eye.

i was certain sure that lori over at hahn at home had a most sensible plan. a six month dating hiatus, but then again ...
ms hahn is not looking back over her shoulder at the big 60.
tick tock, tick tock!
will the butterfly of love please land on my shoulder ... please, please!

so, i sashayed over to 'a well known internet dating site' and winked wolfishly at some likely looking lasses. winking is free, writing stunning, poetic come hither letters... well, it costs.

this morning i had a message from match, somebody has written me an email... hah! one small problem, one must pay one's membership fees.... before one finds out who wrote the email and what they actually had to say. twenty something pounds ...oy... that would amount to a lot of 'twisted' creme egg bars ... hmmm ...what to do, what to do?
as anyone who knows me knows...
i am both impulsive and impatient with a huge dollop of curiosity added. what are credit cards for, if not for buying the right to love and happiness. of course i could have taken the six month subscription with a written guarantee of love and happiness. afraid my cynicism overcame my impulsiveness at that point. damn, one month should be more than enough time for love to find me.

i have one small problem ... i have a penchant for american women. why ...
indeed, right enough... why?
i have absolutely no idea, i just seem to have a lot more success falling into correspondence with women from the states. on the whole, i find them witty, articulate and intelligent. and damn ... but they do love my accent, makes even straight ladies a little wobbly at the knees!
the point is ... at 60 you use what you have ... heh!

so i paid my money and took my chances. the email was from a very nice (so far, so good) woman. it appears she is able to spell and throw a sentence together. jackpot! if nothing else she and i will email and chat until such time as we actually meet OR one or the other of us grows bored OR falls in love elsewhere OR expires from the odd variety of things that folks over 55 tend towards.

two hours later, up pops a new email from another woman. she was in contact the last time around. she is happy to see me back. damn, how many women is it possible to keep happy at any given time. me, myself would definitely say "no more than one"!

single might just end up being damn hard work ...

Thursday, 18 September 2008

the missing blog




i have removed yesterday's blog.

it was a knee jerk reaction executed in anger.

i should be ashamed of myself, i am ashamed of myself.

thank you to margo, for reminding me that a hurt human being will often strike out in self defence.

Thursday, 11 September 2008

softly, softly

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Monday, 8 September 2008

the chasm

Photobucket

love is a chasm through which the force runs
rushing, tumbling, powerful, unstoppable
like a river in flood,tempestuous in it's desire
to reach the wantonly craved destination
any obstacles exist only to be overcome
pushed aside, swept around, rushed over
and all else failing, to be worn away through time
lost in the oblivion of one hundred tomorrows

love has the power to delight and to destroy
an energy which rages and caresses, crackles and dies
there is nothing sensible about love
it is as dangerous as it is divine
love today may promise you forever
wake up tomorrow and the dream is dead
love left in the night, as silent as hill mist
leaving a love worn space, aching to be filled


All materials Copyright © 2004-2008 by Eryll Oellermann

Wednesday, 3 September 2008





this time around, herself was with me for three whole weeks! she has never before spent that long with me on my own home turf. about eight months after we first met we did spend a month together in south africa ... that was way back when! we were both still wearing our rose coloured spectacles at that time. mind, even with the shades herself was already finding me arrogant and unbending.
and i... well i spent some (a wee bit) of my time wanting to strangle this impossible american i had hooked up with. ah, the tales we could tell!

since then, we have of course seen one another fairly regularly. i have spent months at a time in the states ... behaving (i firmly believe) most admirably. herself has traveled to buckingham and to scotland many times but as a working woman her vacation time was limited. never before... three whole weeks.

now, my lady is a writer but no matter how i tried she showed no interest in the wonderful world of blog.the idea of 'her own blog' seemed to hold no appeal. strange, damn strange, never the less true!

however...
it appears, three weeks spent in my magical, charming company has done the trick.
herself now has a blog 'a stone in my shoe'.
i am delighted! i am trying to ignore the undeniable fact that ...
this blog is a way for herself to blow off steam.a place to slag me off, reveal my imperfections ...
hell's teeth ... who knew i had any????
one might call it ... the revenge of the small witch. seems to me that she is determined to inform the world of blog of my human frailties!

as we would say back home in the good old republic of sa ... "check the worry in my eyes".

go babe!