such sweet salvation

your eyes have the soft glow of a dreamer
searching for answers to unasked questions
we search for the soul in the eyes of another
in your eyes i find such sweet salvation
love as gentle as the fragile morning mist
a resilient mind with the strength of tempered steel
made sweet, sure and safe with vulnerability
in you i find the gentle light of a healer
while the fire of your passion burns white hot
a homing beacon for my all consuming desire
my mind, my heart, my body, learn to trust
protected, secure and safe, surrounded by your love
let today be our home and tomorrow our far horizon
beyond which lies the delight of our unfolding dream
where we two will travel as one, hand in hand
finding wonder in the earth beneath our feet
discovering sustenance for our search in the night sky
where far stars beckon the mind which thirsts to know
walk by my side through the now and into forever
touch my hand, read my eyes and know love unending

Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

six chimes for seven

tick tock, tick tock, i hear the clock
a house full of clocks, some chime
once on the half hour, six chimes for seven
count the chimes and add an hour
the house is stone, weathered, solid
one story only, good for growing old in
it wanders, this house, spreading out
from the original, wide passages, high ceilings
built when there was time and space
big rooms, wide windows streaming pale winter light
outside, cold and crisp, leafless trees
the last vestiges of summer buried beneath the white
within, the warmth of wood fire and leather
flames leaping upwards, speaking warmth in orange flame
sofas, big and brown, sinking soft for comfort
occupied by hairy hounds, careless outspread
books lie, untidy, slightly chewed by teething pup
a cup, half empty,forgotten in the leaving
i am a stranger in this house, it is not my home
yet she bids me welcome and holds me safe
beneath her slate roof, her stone walls
her spacious rooms stir with memories
of those now gone, who lived and breathed
gave birth and died within the shelter of her
i am a stranger in this house of whispers
a stranger welcomed warmly without prejudice
will these same stone walls embrace and hold
within them the essence of my soul
when the short days of the flesh are done


Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

Happy Birthday G!

Today is Dr G's birthday!

Yes indeed. A capital letter day!

His new heart is beating strong in his chest.

We have high hopes he will be home from the hospital in time for Christmas.

The life force is so precious and so fragile,so quickly taken,
so easily lost.

If a grateful heart is a song of praise, then ...
I offer my heart.

"beyond time"

oh wow, oh wow, oh wow!

knock on the door ... rat-a-tat-tat.
special delivery...

"beyond time"

absolutely friggin' perfect. a real book, a real poetry book,
hard cover with shiny printed pages!

the word smith is without words ...

taking a beating

scotland versus south africa

oy! the humiliation of it all. my beloved springboks
beaten, nay, let me be truthful ... thrashed by scotland.

boys, manne! these guys wear skirts!

perhaps i inadvertantly put the kaibosch on the boys. after all
i did allow one incredibly large and indupitably british hound
to slime my south africa scarf. not deliberately you understand,
due only to a moments inattention!

fortunately, in my somewhat varied genetic inheritance,
i am a good part scottish. i dare say, in time, i will come
to accept that if my beloved bokke must be beaten ...

well kilts, bagpipes and strapping scottish boys in blue
and white are the only way to go ...

international rivalry

scotland versus south africa

today at murrayfield ... nope, we are not dragging our arses
out into the cold with an excellent chance of rain. we are
staying in with the telly!

She has her scotland rugby shirt, i have my south africa scarf!
a roaring log fire, a drop or so of the o' be joyful.
let battle commence!

She has a taste for classical music, i have a taste for pop
music. tonight i will introduce Her to the joys of X factor.
yeah, i know ... poor lass!
perhaps She might one day teach the tone deaf wolf to love
more than modern music. mind you, one can hardly call sixties music
modern, perhaps by now it qualifies as classical?

in print, on paper...

i am in the process of publishing! oh yes indeed, i am, i am!

to be painfully truthful, i am self publishing. what the heck, a book in print is a book in print!

as it is in hardcover the process takes about twelve days and then i think the delivery time is another three
days.
so, the wolf is prowling and pacing, overwhelmed with impatience.

if and when i am satisfied with "the book" i will give my publishers the go ahead and they will start the
marketing process.

"beyond time" is a small collection of some of the poems i wrote for and about my ex during our years
together.
as might be expected it is filled with words proclaiming (mostly)my misery at being dumped, ignored,
neglected etc etc.
ah, there ain't nothin' on this mortal coil that can howl like this wolf when things are not going
my way!

if this publishing lark works out, i intend to publish a paperback with some of my favourite poems.

new life, new vistas!

ahhh ... by the way, sunday is my last smoking day, yes, again! fingers crossed people.

sunshine sunday

today was a good day. it failed to rain, there was some blue sky
and at times the sun actually shone. this is ayrshire in november,
what more could one ask for!

today me, myself and the animal doctor took her wonderful hounds
for a walk. have you ever met an otter hound? they are big,
really big and hairy and exuberant. they have longish, shaggy
coats which seem to attract every drop of available wetness.so, on
a sunny day one might start off with a dry, fluffy hound and half an
hour later be walking with a rather wet and bedraggled hound.
let them off the leash and they are off following their
noses! their stride simply eats up the ground, before you know
it they are away in the far distance, mostly they find their
way back to you...
sometimes, the younger one does not return of his own accord
and one might spend some considerable amount of time relocating
the not so wee bastard!

life is good.

onwards and upwards

six in the morning, quite a respectable hour at which to wake.
pitch black outside and so quiet i can hear the leaves fall.

except of course when a train rockets past sounding like a
screaming banshee!during the summer the trees and bushes which
follow the line do somewhat muffle the noise of a passing
train. now, on our way into winter, with their branches almost
bare ...
well, let's just say, noise wise i do notice a difference!
i saw the fox again yesterday, making her way along the line.
when it comes to fox spotting, the leafless trees do allow a
better view.

tonight the animal doctor is popping in for a drink and a bit
of a blether. what's more, this healer for the animal kingdom
did not bat an eye when i told her i had rejoined the nicotine
brigade! my kind of girl ;-)

onwards and upwards!

three o'clock

it's three o'clock in the morning
i find that i'm awake
it should be quite upsetting
but, what difference does it make

the wind is howling wildly
rain spatters against glass
i sit and tap computer keys
to help the dark hours pass

the thing with living on your own
is that it doesn't matter
if wandering at night is what you do
you're free to make a clatter

there's many things that i could do
if i should feel the need
and nobody would mind at all
if the light's on and i read

i make a cup of coffee
and i light myself a smoke
a freight train thunders through the night
perhaps that's why i woke


Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

Make You Feel My Love - wow!

"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."

- Og Mandino

time to move on ...

there is a season for all things. a time for all truth.
one designated day in the life of me myself when ...
i have to say ... "i heard the fat lady sing!"




the sun may shine, the wind might blow, in all probability
(given the small corner of our beloved planet on which i pitch
my tent)rain will fall.
one thing will not change, sugar and the wolf are no more.

yesterday is the past, a time to be cherished in memory alone.

i joined pinksofa, i paid my fees, i read profiles, sent smiles
and winks, i have chatted and called, teased and flirted.
i have even dated, in a some what desultory manner.
my heart has not been in it. enough already...i
spent six years loving and tormenting herself. time to admit
the obvious, it is over.

today is the first day of the rest of my life!

i will be closing down 'the mind nomadic' and 'the unfolding
enigma'. they have had their time and enjoyed their space.

i have need of a new space. a different time and place in which
to journal the trials and tribulations, the excitements and
anticipations of the wolf. i seek the freedom to whine about the
old and exclaim over the new.

if you wish to continue to follow the path of the wolf - email
me or find me on facebook, i have a new blog as yet undisturbed
by my tales, thoughts, theories, conjectures and downright
lies!soon enough i will find those pristine pages irresistible
and the words will come.

in the mean time, thank you my friends and readers. thank you
for reading, commenting, consoling. thank you for listening
to the words which grow in the heart of the wolf.

my soul friend

damn it is suddenly cold!
since i came back from africa the weather has been distinctly
un-scottish. plenty of warm sunny days, ideal for wandering
the promenade, full of muse-less anxt!

those of my readers who have been with me over the years, will
understand the difficulty i find in functioning without my muse.
after all have we not visited this land of misery and mayhem
many, many times before?

in a way i was fortunate to be called away to offer support to
my son back home in south africa. the difficult ordeal of waiting
hoping and praying in the impersonal corridors of the hospital -
well, one is hardly given to considering one's broken heart at
such a time.

back in bonnie scotland with dr g's new heart beating strong, the
mantle of panic starts to slip from my shoulders. i become
absorbed by the blandness of my life sans herself!
after all, for the past six years we have kept one another
amused and entertained.
in anger and anxiety, sadness and spirituality, sickness and
health, feast and famine ...
we have shared our days, our hours, our minutes.

and now ...
no more!

nix, nada, nothing!

it is as if my heart has ceased to beat. the deafening silence
rings in my ears.

for a woman to love a woman is a thing of wonder, an exploration
of a world set apart,a magical time of being.
the loss of such a companion is however, unbearable.

an ocean stretches between us, our paths diverge and we walk
alone.
and yet ...
despite all our differences
herself was and always will be my anam cara, my soul friend.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Mary Oliver

"i feel such a fool!"

"please don't make a fool out of me."

why on earth are we so worried about how we might appear to the
outside world.

why does it matter?

we are who we are. idiots and angels. we have one life to live.
one short life!

today we laugh, we cry, we wish for the impossible and fail
to find gratitude for the everyday miracles of life.

we forget to say ... "i love you, i appreciate you!"

we forget to say ... "thank you for loving me!"

we believe in our right to happiness and forget that true joy
is found in loving and serving others.

how easily we forget to be humble, and then, such a short step to arrogance and pride.


today we breath, tomorrow we are dust.

time ... the one thing we can't borrow.

the link

pause and think
regard the link
review the past
gone so fast
live in the now
do you know how
the future waits
owned by the fates
chaos rules
and we are fools

yesterday today tomorrow
time the one thing we can't borrow

Copyright © 2004-20010 by Eryll Oellermann

the scars of time

once more, an unfamiliar journey
yet fair, this lap which must be run
outdistanced by the future
bound into an inevitable race of one

hesitate, or leap forward unafraid
empty of regret, blind to the lost illusion
the pounding excavation of tomorrow
at the font of love's confusion

so hail the unsung hero now
for yesterday is soon undone
sliced from memory, yet written
in the scars of time, for some


Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

an ocean apart

thirty one straight days of sunshine! may not sound like a lot
to some of you, but ...
as a resident of the misty isles ... wow!

it was hard to leave my boy.
to be home is a joy tinged with sadness at my inability to
be beside him at this most difficult time in his life.

his dear love is still in the ICU, fighting, day by day to
survive and grow a little stronger.

we may be an ocean apart my son, but ...
you are always surrounded by our love.

dry my beloved country!

flying from the misty, dampness of scotland to a dry, dry johannesburg at the end of winter ...

the sun shines every day! gauteng is a summer rainfall area, we have not yet enjoyed spring rain. the air is dry!
my poor nose ... nasal passages adjusted to a coastal scottish clime reacted to the dusty dryness in the way they deemed best. they shrivelled up and cracked leaving me with a stuffy, bleeding nose.
things have improved with time, me and my nostrils are slowly adjusting ...

i remain a happy non smoker!

my boy is a Vegan with a capital V, he is also an artist in the kitchen. my previously blood soaked palate is learning the pleasures of meatless eating.

what next???

i hear the hadida

i am home, under the african sun. surrounded by the familar, the voices of my people, the sights and scents of south african spring.

i did not expect to be here, i expected to be watching summer fade from my ayrshire window.

the unexpected has brought me here, here where i need to be at this time.

our dear g, my son's partner, soul mate, life love ...
suffered a massive heart attack last tuesday.

we have to wait now, while machines monitor his body and time accomplishes her healing. there are no guarantees, there is hope and love, belief in his strength and his will to live.

19th august 2010

today i delivered ms sugar to glasgow airport ...
herself, her two cats and five suitcases boarded the plane for
newark.

sometimes ... love is not enough.

i found the fox

in the summer heat
i found the fox
and the cold burn of anger
the fox ran the line
where trains travel
clickety clack
full of humanity
yawning their way to work
the rumble of great freight carriers
coal and oil on the line
to somewhere
in the cooling dark
of the long days end
i found the fox
and the ice of rage
the fox sat in the shadows
on the bank beneath the line
waiting for what
and i remembered
that nothing lasts forever

Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

four weeks

today herself has been here for four whole weeks.
a couple of times i spent three months with her in the states
but this is the longest time herself has been away from
new york!

today my lady is a little homesick and weepy, missing
her daughters,friends and familiar culture.
almost every day we discover a new something, a difference in
the way we view the world around us. we agree, we disagree, we
fight and make up. sugar and the wolf are learning to live
together ... rueful smile!

for myself ...
she has brought laughter back into my life, we laugh, we giggle,
at times our sides ache and tears of joy run from our eyes.
my mind is constantly challenged, ms sugar is a woman of
considerable intelligence and deep held beliefs. naturally at this
beginning stage of our life together, we fairly often find
ourselves at odds. we are no spring chickens! herself grew
up in the bronx and i grew to adulthood under the african sun.
so ...
is it at all likely that we will agree on everything? hell no!

the wonder of our relationship lies in the fact that we are
together, we are commited to a shared future.
our love and time together will enrich and enliven us both.

for now, it is enough to drift off to sleep, knowing that my
lady is safe by my side, that tomorrow will not bring a heart wrenching
separation.
i wake in the morning secure in the knowledge that whatever
the day may bring - we are together.

we survived a long distance relationship for five years
and five months.
it was never easy!
was it worth the wait?

hell yes!!

sugar settles on scottish soil!

she said she was coming, i knew she meant what she said,
but ...
did i believe that herself would ever actually arrive on
these scottish shores ... no way!

the cat's were supposed to arrive about a week before herself and
i was to collect them from glasgow airport. thursday was a rather grey and
dreary day, glasgow is not an enormous airport, it still took me a
while to find the correct cargo warehouse.
i sat in the car and awaited their arrival, if the furry critter
actually arrived, well then ...
i would have to believe that herself would surely follow!
my mobile rang, the cats had arrived, time to collect the first
instalment of the great trans pond migration.

herself arrived the following tuesday with six, yes six huge
suitcases.
my dream was about to come true!
my life would be forever changed...

while i wait for you

today
i listen to the rain
most times so soft
unheard
not so today

today
i watch the invading light
no visible sun
to herald
a new day

today
the coffee smell
drifts across the morning
calling taste buds
to abandon sleep

today
i burn scented candles
window open wide
as i exhale illicit smoke
from a smoke free building

today
i find contrariwise.org
literary tattoos
the wonder of words
skin deep

today
i wonder at the spaces in between
and what they mean
how much we have to learn
our universal insignificance

today
i write these words
which grow within my soul
and live beyond my hand
and i wait for you

Copyright © 2010 by Eryll Oellermann

the bells of st. meddans

this morning i took myself off for a brisk stroll along the
shore.
beautiful, the tide was way out, leaving acres of sand for
ball chasing dogs to hurtle across.
older couples were strolling, no particular hurry. young
couples held hands and snogged at the oceans edge.
toddlers toddling, moms and dads pushing strollers filled
with strapped in tykes.

i left the sea front and cut across in front of the town hall,
then down and across into the high street for a window shopping
wander.
i quickened my pace as i turned into church street and headed
for home.
the bells of st. meddans were ringing, calling
the faithful to prayer. the somewhat late faithful were
scurrying, heels clattering on the stone pavements. dressed in
their sunday best and determined not to embarrass themselves
with a tardy entrance!

life is good!

home again, warm spring sunshine streaming through the windows.
my rainbow maker whirling away, creating joyous patterns
across the living room.

i popped a piece of pork in the oven for our sunday lunch roast.
the children are coming for lunch today. the omnivorous part of
my family, not the vegans!

kettle on, coffee brewing, time to blog.

emily times three

i ask why
why when i shop
please explain
do i not buy two
or even four
no never
always
three orange oranges
three apples
three rosy pink grapefruit
why three
veggies now
one head of broccoli
is enough
unless a special offer
raises temptation
two for the price
of one
and then it will sit
that extra broccoli
in the fridge
and turn the shade of blue
that green becomes
when broccoli remains uneaten
past it's sell by date
forcing me to think
of home and hungry children
and waste and guilt
when i finally bring myself
to toss it's suspect self
into the bin
why three
three orange oranges
three apples
three rosy pink grapefruit
why fruit time three
explain it to me
emily times three

Copyright © 2010 by Eryll Oellermann

etched

we should know better
we really should
than to ask a question
we have asked before

what makes today different
from yesterday
only the wisdom gleaned
through pain past


a fragile shelter
in a large life storm
why is today never enough
why hunger for tomorrow

teach me mother universe
to eat from my heaped plate
and leave for others
the temptings of the future

etched in my palms
the lines of life and living
an innocence of pain
well documented

initiate of the safe circle
surrounded by love protective
why endure the disenchantment
of questions already answered


Copyright © 2010 by Eryll Oellermann

dance

some weekends are slow.

i still miss herself, my friend, my anam cara. the sound of the world rings with the silence of our parting.

today i was reading a few of the blogs i follow and i came across an update at closer to fine

what a serendipitous find, a wonderful happy dance video!

thanks you nina for the reminder of the joy of music and dance.

can't wait till i receive the all clear on my foot. seeing the surgeon on thursday.
and then ...
i will dance!

coffee, no cake

not that i had a tough time! i had a fun day ...
an enjoyable time, coffee became lunch, a really nice woman. lots of things in common, plenty to chat about.
i think we might become good friends in time.

i was delighted to find that my companion enjoys her food and is not a vegetarian. i am surrounded by vegetarians and vegans ... at times i do feel the pressure.
today however ...
we tried a new restaurant.
really great coffee and i managed to avoid ordering cake.
for lunch i chose baked tattie with haggis and cheese, mmmm, yummy!

coffee date data

i have a coffee date on thursday. indeed i do ...
and not with an internet introduced stranger either!
a genuine gay friend of a straight friend. i have even
met her once before, i liked her, she was educated,
intelligent and accent less. accent less is quite important
for first meetings! saves all that ... "i'm sorry, excuse me,
would you mind saying that again" stuff.

of course i am as nervous as a race horse at the starting gate.
bumping into someone at a friends place is rather less
stressful than a "coffee date". just the two of us, eyeing
each other across coffee and cake. no beloved pal to banter
on about everything and nothing, filling any awkward silences.



hah! nothing ventured, nothing gained - roll on thursday!

now ... should i have a cream scone or chocolate cake ...

i'm back!

hey ho, well! that absense didn't last long, did it?

truth is, i was feeling all miserable and maudlin and felt
the need for a more private blog in which to whinge and
whine without upsetting those i love.

and then ...
i thought "what the hell, i can have a private wailing
blog and still blog on the mind nomadic and the
unfolding enigma!"
pure genius! no really... sometimes i surprise even myself.

until we meet again

friday 12th february - two months exactly since i left my wee village and took up residence in an actual town. quite an eventful two months it has been! wrote off my beloved lady rav, accepted the impossibility of my relationship with herself, finally had my foot fixed.
2010 has possibilities, in march my youngest will visit from south africa. in june i will be spending two weeks with a group of lesbian friends on the island of minorca.

i breathe, spring is in the air, my heart quickens at the signs of new life. the first shoots breaking through the winter empty ground. branches, once desolate, burst with buds, round and plump with new life.our scottish sun rises a little earlier, sets a little later and i feel the warmth of her.

a time of change.
i need a new voice, a new page upon which to write my truth.
on these pages i have grown stale and careful.

dear friends and readers, i will of course continue to follow your blogs!

i will leave the mind nomadic and the unfolding enigma as and where they are. a small history for myself. does anyone remember designated writer? still out there, deserted but inviolate!
from time to time, i will continue to publish some of my poetry on wordspinner

until we meet again.
namaste

"don't label me" ...

but, if you must ...

"hey good looking" will do just fine!

fellow blogger jude was called 'sir' recently, which made me
remember ...

even when i was a happily (extremely) married straight woman
i was often called sir. not that i blamed the folks for the
error, i always used to look in the mirror and think to
myself...
"damn! i would have made a much better looking man than
i do a woman."
i figured a lot of my fellow humans do not really SEE us
when they look at us.
short hair, jeans, collared shirt and trainers, a quick glance
equals - male. plus my voice is fairly husky due to years
spent inhaling my addiction!

when i entered the gay world i knew nothing of femmes, dykes,
butches etc. i had grown up a tom boy, i felt no need to adorn
myself in dresses, bows, high heeled shoes and make up. i
enjoyed these things well enough on another woman but for
myself ... no.
ahhh ... the reef was about to be educated.

herself, a self proclaimed femme, much given to bling, high
fashion, hairdressers who gave a damn and expensive and
alluring make up was about to bring me up to scratch.

"you are such a butch" she would say.

me ..."nah, my friends think i'm a very feminine woman."

herself ... "shows how much they know!"

i was always happy to open doors, carry parcels and generally
act the gentleman. that much came naturally to me. it is true
i love to take care of any woman in whose company i find
myself. but ... diy and tools, pumping car tyres, decorating -
these are man jobs in my opinion!

as herself would then mutter ... "what kind of a butch are you?"

indeed!

i sometimes think ... maybe androgynous, soft butch sounds
a bit wishy washy to me.

and then ...
on herself's last visit, when i managed to plough my lady
rav head first into a passing vehicle, leaving ms sugar a
little bruised and bent.
the emergency response teams had a real problem.

a fireman asked me politely ... "are you OK sir?"

the ambulance medic assured ms m... "your husband
is fine, he can ride in the ambulance with you!

hah! red faces all around a while later. mind ... i was looking
strikingly handsome on that particular day!

i dreamed a dream

i dreamed a dream
of panthers black
not smooth or sleek
not even fat
these panthers
haunches were so gaunt
not muscled smooth
like big cats flaunt

the night was dark
the stars were bright
i walked a cliff path
by moonlight
the sea below
swelled and subsided
amidst the silence
sound provided

and then i saw them
one, then two
prowling silent
close to you
i recognized you
right away
inspector frost
had come to play

a tv copper
in my dream
how very strange
what could it mean
"be still" i said
"they will not bite,
the queen says they are tame
at night"

that's where i was
just off to tea
to have a chat
the queen and me
she filled my cup
with lady grey
and offered fruit cake
on a tray

she said "my dear
you need to see
a portrait of
some majesty.
they say that sometimes
one might see
a ghost
if one looks carefully"

i looked and then
i laughed with glee
there was no ghost
that i could see
i turned politely
to the queen
and told her what my eyes
had seen

"your majesty"
i had to say
"there is no ghost,
not now, today
what people see
are chickenpox scars
on the faces
of the czars!"

yeah, i know...
but, it's my dream
with panthers black
and england's queen
me taking tea
and eating cake
correcting royalty's
mistake


Copyright © 2010 by Eryll Oellermann

does there need to be a ceremony?

should there be? when you wake up one day and realize ...
your singleness.

it has been a long time coming, this, just me and myself
place i find myself in.

five years, where did they go? i was a lot younger at the
beginning. time marches on and who can blame it, after all,
that would mostly be the purpose of time. by marching it
creates a past and promises a future.

so simply put, i am friggin' sixty one years old and single!
am i afraid? no, i have learned how to be content alone.
happiness is a spring which arises within us, if it runs dry
there is no one to blame. there is no blame, only a need to
remember...
"i am"

so i will exist alone in the moment, until it is time
to be unsingle.

1914 - 1918

troon, snow covered beach january 2010










1914 - 1918

it's a new feeling
the squishy crunch of dry snow
beneath my soles
each footstep creates
a mark, an imprint
on the virgin white

easier to follow
where a thousand other feet
have beaten a path
the impact of foot fall
making the soft solid
still white, not gritted

the salt and grit
have come and gone
run out, used up
to keep britain running
we know how to deal with rain
but this white ...

snow
now that is an experience
it does come at times
and leaves as quick
scarce bothering to sit and wait
until now

weeks of cold white
not even black ice
only white
as far as the eye can see
i walk as do so many others
along the promenade

no clouds, no rain, no wind
big sky clear and cold
red sun slipping away
beyond the far horizon
britannia stands
high on her plinth

watching over the snow bleached beach
the bounding dogs
and determined walkers
one arm raised
feathered quill in hand
the other hand holds a small angel

in memory of those who fell
beyond our seas
1914 - 1918



Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann