of
cardboard construction
I
wonder why I spend so much of my life
going
back when I knew better
that
is how it was for me
the
desire to leave and then the need to return
to
try again to read with understanding
the
book I had so carelessly opened
the
book so stilted and full of secrets
which
I in my delightful arrogance
sought
to understand
fought
to uncover the depths which must be there
hidden
perhaps by fear and rage
until
one day I understood
the
mask was all there was
and
when it fell
I
saw into the empty eyes of hell
alien
beyond belief
without
mercy or compassion
a
creation entirely constructed to protect
nothing
I
had shared five years of my life
with
a shadow of the missing
wisdom
come late is still wisdom
I
turned on my heel and sped away
from
the uninhabited depths of those eyes
gone,
the need to return
I
took the blade and probed memories held
and
cut them free
as
I tore from my heart what was left of love
in
the spaces of my mind
a
card board construction coffin like
for
that which I must cut adrift
I
looked down upon that face, once dearly loved
unhappiness
writ deep into the lines of life
I
whispered low, goodbye
and
set her free to travel where they go
these
people of the shadow
and
from my shoulders rose …
the
weight of trying
and
I so light so once more young
felt
freedom almost forgotten
I
smiled
Copyright
© Eryll Oellermann 2016
