onwards and upwards

six in the morning, quite a respectable hour at which to wake.
pitch black outside and so quiet i can hear the leaves fall.

except of course when a train rockets past sounding like a
screaming banshee!during the summer the trees and bushes which
follow the line do somewhat muffle the noise of a passing
train. now, on our way into winter, with their branches almost
bare ...
well, let's just say, noise wise i do notice a difference!
i saw the fox again yesterday, making her way along the line.
when it comes to fox spotting, the leafless trees do allow a
better view.

tonight the animal doctor is popping in for a drink and a bit
of a blether. what's more, this healer for the animal kingdom
did not bat an eye when i told her i had rejoined the nicotine
brigade! my kind of girl ;-)

onwards and upwards!

three o'clock

it's three o'clock in the morning
i find that i'm awake
it should be quite upsetting
but, what difference does it make

the wind is howling wildly
rain spatters against glass
i sit and tap computer keys
to help the dark hours pass

the thing with living on your own
is that it doesn't matter
if wandering at night is what you do
you're free to make a clatter

there's many things that i could do
if i should feel the need
and nobody would mind at all
if the light's on and i read

i make a cup of coffee
and i light myself a smoke
a freight train thunders through the night
perhaps that's why i woke


Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

Make You Feel My Love - wow!

"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."

- Og Mandino

time to move on ...

there is a season for all things. a time for all truth.
one designated day in the life of me myself when ...
i have to say ... "i heard the fat lady sing!"




the sun may shine, the wind might blow, in all probability
(given the small corner of our beloved planet on which i pitch
my tent)rain will fall.
one thing will not change, sugar and the wolf are no more.

yesterday is the past, a time to be cherished in memory alone.

i joined pinksofa, i paid my fees, i read profiles, sent smiles
and winks, i have chatted and called, teased and flirted.
i have even dated, in a some what desultory manner.
my heart has not been in it. enough already...i
spent six years loving and tormenting herself. time to admit
the obvious, it is over.

today is the first day of the rest of my life!

i will be closing down 'the mind nomadic' and 'the unfolding
enigma'. they have had their time and enjoyed their space.

i have need of a new space. a different time and place in which
to journal the trials and tribulations, the excitements and
anticipations of the wolf. i seek the freedom to whine about the
old and exclaim over the new.

if you wish to continue to follow the path of the wolf - email
me or find me on facebook, i have a new blog as yet undisturbed
by my tales, thoughts, theories, conjectures and downright
lies!soon enough i will find those pristine pages irresistible
and the words will come.

in the mean time, thank you my friends and readers. thank you
for reading, commenting, consoling. thank you for listening
to the words which grow in the heart of the wolf.

my soul friend

damn it is suddenly cold!
since i came back from africa the weather has been distinctly
un-scottish. plenty of warm sunny days, ideal for wandering
the promenade, full of muse-less anxt!

those of my readers who have been with me over the years, will
understand the difficulty i find in functioning without my muse.
after all have we not visited this land of misery and mayhem
many, many times before?

in a way i was fortunate to be called away to offer support to
my son back home in south africa. the difficult ordeal of waiting
hoping and praying in the impersonal corridors of the hospital -
well, one is hardly given to considering one's broken heart at
such a time.

back in bonnie scotland with dr g's new heart beating strong, the
mantle of panic starts to slip from my shoulders. i become
absorbed by the blandness of my life sans herself!
after all, for the past six years we have kept one another
amused and entertained.
in anger and anxiety, sadness and spirituality, sickness and
health, feast and famine ...
we have shared our days, our hours, our minutes.

and now ...
no more!

nix, nada, nothing!

it is as if my heart has ceased to beat. the deafening silence
rings in my ears.

for a woman to love a woman is a thing of wonder, an exploration
of a world set apart,a magical time of being.
the loss of such a companion is however, unbearable.

an ocean stretches between us, our paths diverge and we walk
alone.
and yet ...
despite all our differences
herself was and always will be my anam cara, my soul friend.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Mary Oliver

"i feel such a fool!"

"please don't make a fool out of me."

why on earth are we so worried about how we might appear to the
outside world.

why does it matter?

we are who we are. idiots and angels. we have one life to live.
one short life!

today we laugh, we cry, we wish for the impossible and fail
to find gratitude for the everyday miracles of life.

we forget to say ... "i love you, i appreciate you!"

we forget to say ... "thank you for loving me!"

we believe in our right to happiness and forget that true joy
is found in loving and serving others.

how easily we forget to be humble, and then, such a short step to arrogance and pride.


today we breath, tomorrow we are dust.

time ... the one thing we can't borrow.

the link

pause and think
regard the link
review the past
gone so fast
live in the now
do you know how
the future waits
owned by the fates
chaos rules
and we are fools

yesterday today tomorrow
time the one thing we can't borrow

Copyright © 2004-20010 by Eryll Oellermann