on boobs and burial rituals

i am truly blessed in my children, all three are exceptional...
kind, loving, thoughtful, articulate and intelligent, arrogant and argumentative!
practically perfect!

my boys look out for me, protect me when necessary, keep in touch regularly and envelop me in bear hugs
when we meet. if i have a problem they will offer their advice and find a solution, they have even been
known to offer advice when i was unaware i had a problem!

my daughter, my first born and my best friend.
my daughter is the mother of five loud, loving, demanding, energetic and opinionated children.
they are my grandchildren and therefore ...
without fault!
however, even i have to admit, five children equals a full time job.
my girl still manages to home school one of the five!


tuesday was the "trip to the bank to deposit the cheque" day. i opened my bank account with barclays bank, bicester, when i first arrived in the uk. barclays is big and reliable.
one small problem ...
in scotland, barclays branches are a rare find ...
i do most of my banking over the internet but once a month i need to visit an actual bank building.
the closest barclays is about an hour away in ayr. there is also a branch in saltcoats where my daughter and her family live and that is only another fifteen minutes away. so, bank days when i am heading north i usually treat myself to a mom and daughter day as well.



so ...
there we were, drinking coffee and catching up. i was relating the tale of my latest visit to the doc and excitedly informed her that doc had offered to refer me to glasgow for a breast reconstruction.
for the info of "them as might not be aware" ... i had a bit of a ruckus with breast cancer about fifteen years ago.
for one reason or another i never 'got around' to having a reconstruction.

me ... " i think i might just do it, g says the nhs glasgow breast clinic do excellent work."

nix ... "yeah, why not mom, maybe they can fix your foot at the same time!"

me ... "nah, i think that might be a bit much!"

nix ... "i suppose ..."

me ... "sheit nix, just imagine, i will have forever perky breasts. even when i'm old (er) and
(even more)saggy everywhere else my boobies will still be perfect ... heh. i will be
buried with pert artificial mammary implants"

nix, laughing ...
"ha, ha! i wonder what future archaeologists will have to say when they start uncovering
female human skeletons, buried with silicone cones on their chests?
they will probably come up with some weird and wonderful religious reason for certain
females needing to be buried with silicone cones to accompany them on their journey
into the next world."

hmmm, indeed ...
life is so full of possibilities and improbabilities. i mean, all it would take is one itsy bitsy
major disaster. we might lose our computers, our paper work, our records.
future generations would be left to wonder ... how, why, what for?
who knows, my skeleton might some day be an important archaeological find. news headlines might scream ...
'three thousand year old skeleton found, weighed down with strange man made cones!'

damn! i won't just be having a breast reconstruction, i'll be making history!