Happy Birthday Baby!

can't imagine you being seventy two years old!

bet you would have still been busy ...

setting the world to rights, one brick at a time!

always with me in my memories, forever in my heart ... endless love.

happy birthday manfred!

Happy Anniversary!

1st October 1966 ... 47 years ...



I miss you so, you live forever in my heart and mind, you are every breath I take.

I love you Manfred Oellermann.

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart!

what

my ears are blocked
and they are ringing
not the sound
of angels singing
more a screaming
banshee wail
and my hearing
starts to fail
why i wonder
should this be
what the hell
is up with me?

Copyright © 2013 by Eryll Oellermann

take off those shoes

standing in the rain, having a smoke
hardly the punchline of a really good joke
the rain pouring down, seeping into my collar
not fun for a worker or even a scholar
"take off those shoes before you come back inside
if you bring in dirt i will tan your behind"
the lady is boss and the house is her own
if i fail to comply i'll for sure sleep alone
"but honey" i whine, in a voice rather sad
my shoes are quite clean, look they're really not bad
"you do as you're told, or i'll lock you outside"
not really much choice so i'll swallow my pride
so i'm hunched out there smoking, quite soaked to the skin
when i started to chuckle and enjoy life again
who else stands outside in a downpour of rain
breathing in smoke just to help keep them sane
who else in the world, when they're past sixty four
must take off their shoes to get back through the door

Copyright © 2013 by Eryll Oellermann

three hours in the immigration hall at jfk. hot, sweaty, thirsty and filled with an undeniable urge to turn on my heel and say "adios America".

but ... no! because, just beyond the seemingly insurmountable barriers of usa immigration was ...herself. my Bronx princess.

waiting, always waiting.
a long distance love story yet to be written.

not as young as we once were.
eight years and some ...

time for something magical. a growing peace between us, a willingness to deal.

the past no longer the future. together in the now. open hearts, listening.

the rain in spain ...

falls mainly on barcelona!

a question of luggage

despite my imagined wolfish demeanour, when i travel, i pack like a girl.

i would have found myself rather comfortable in the days of the raj - followed on my journey by an entourage of bearers happily carrying my twenty matching pieces of luggage on their heads or backs or wherever it may be that bearers bear their burdens.



however, if one wishes to visit europe on a budget, then one had best learn to travel light. failure to do so would involve paying ryan air (or some such other budget airline) copious amounts of moolah for excess baggage.

will the wolf survive five nights in barcelona with only a back pack? watch this page ...

“If you run after things, nothing will come to you. Let things run after you. The sea never sends an invitation to the rivers. That’s why they run to the sea. The sea is content. It doesn’t want anything. That’s the secret in life. Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness”.
-Chuang-Tzu

have i ended up in an alternate universe?

i can't remember when it last rained. no it is not the inevitable memory loss of age! it just has not rained, scotland is turning brown.
it is still bliksem cold, no denying that, but ... dry! no water falling from the sky and the green is fading.
wtf???

for the animal doctor on our second '2nd april' anniversary

the years

love is your smile, when you say
"you are funny"
love is wolf walking
on a day, cold, yet sunny
love is the warmth
of your arms when it's icy
love is the sharing of things
cheap and pricey
love is in working
and time spent in leisure
love is in boredom
as well as in pleasure
love is the carrot wine
we made in the fall
love is the sound of your voice
when you call
love is in laughter
in anger and tears
love is triumphant
in conquering fears
love is the gift
of two beings united
love is the burning
of passion ignited
love is the feeling
i hold in my heart
the missing and longing
when we are apart
i love you today
i will love you forever
may life grant us the years
to grow old together


Copyright © 2013 by Eryll Oellermann

the cold

it is four in the morning
my coffee cup cold
i fed the coal fire
it is glowing red gold

the world still asleep
as the wind whistles by
i opened the door
not a star in the sky

though no snowflakes are falling
the ground is still white
i could go back to bed
or perhaps i should write

if i put pen to paper
to record how i feel
will this act of indulgence
make it any more real

the writer is restless
the mind searching still
reaching for lost thoughts
to leak frrom the quill

immortal, expansive
will the dark of the night
call forth the words
which lie hidden in light

Copyright © 2013 by Eryll Oellermann

where is home ...

i flew out to south africa for pj and gereth's wedding.

i flew home to the land where i was born, the place of the always familiar. my land where the high blue sky of day and the deep dark of star clad night embraces my soul with a fierce ownership. the voice of africa fall gentle on ears grown accustomed to hearing the speech of a far country.
africa, my homeland, my country.
the land in which i was conceived and grew, where i first learnt to love, where my children were born and thrived and ventured into adulthood.
my land, where i recognise the creatures of the air and the earth, i breathe familiar the scent of africa and my eyes read the weather in the african sky.

africa, as comforting as the arms of a beloved mother, always there, always waiting for the return of the prodigal.

speaking of persistence

i reckon persistence should be my second name. i spent eight years and three months pursuing ms sugar.

true, we had breaks when we would separate and the wolf would act out a little temporary wildness.
not for long, the bronx princess would eventually beckon and i would run home, leaving a trail of devastation in my wolfish wake.

i have no idea why i loved her with such devotion. i love her to this very day and always will. i know she loved me but she was happy to stay in the states, skype or call daily and make do with the occasional time together. not enough for me. not enough to keep me happy and faithful during the long times apart. i flew to new york in january, we had not seen each other for more than two years. comfortable as a pair of well worn slippers we were.

herself, still not interested in moving in with the wolf.

the wolf by now aware that love is not always enough.
longing for peace, permanence and passion. wishing for companionship, togetherness and routine.

herself, exasperated by my whining, snapped "you are an adult, take responsibility, you can't have everything you want!"

so i did.

i miss her, i always will. perhaps i will find the love i ache for, perhaps i will walk alone.
no matter, i finally chose to be free.

a good day to begin blogging again

once upon a time i used to blog.
and then i stopped ...
idleness, age, two hundred tv channels?

today, valentine's day, the day we choose to celebrate love, romance, roses and the colour red.

here i am, sixty four and single.

so who will i share my thoughts with today. why, you of course!

for love to last depends on so many quirks of fate and yes, persistence. passion and romance are a thing of beauty but they do not a relationship make.
successful relationships are born and grow in the everyday. the small comforts of a life spent together in spite of everything.

maybe i expect too much?

no matter, the state of single is not a death sentence. there is always tomorrow.

today i will send virtual rainbows to all those who have walked beside me in love.

happy valentine's day