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Friday, 15 February 2013

speaking of persistence

 photo shadow_wolf.jpg

i reckon persistence should be my second name. i spent eight years and three months pursuing ms sugar.

true, we had breaks when we would separate and the wolf would act out a little temporary wildness.
not for long, the bronx princess would eventually beckon and i would run home, leaving a trail of devastation in my wolfish wake.

i have no idea why i loved her with such devotion. i love her to this very day and always will. i know she loved me but she was happy to stay in the states, skype or call daily and make do with the occasional time together. not enough for me. not enough to keep me happy and faithful during the long times apart. i flew to new york in january, we had not seen each other for more than two years. comfortable as a pair of well worn slippers we were.

herself, still not interested in moving in with the wolf.

the wolf by now aware that love is not always enough.
longing for peace, permanence and passion. wishing for companionship, togetherness and routine.

herself, exasperated by my whining, snapped "you are an adult, take responsibility, you can't have everything you want!"

so i did.

i miss her, i always will. perhaps i will find the love i ache for, perhaps i will walk alone.
no matter, i finally chose to be free.

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