i am not a nice person

yeah well...
what can i say...
no bloody backbone...
i mean i really needed to hear what happened when you phoned a number from a number which has been blocked.

that's the thing with herself! when she says no contact she means it...
blocked email...
blocked phone...
of course this still leaves the witch free to email and text rather curt instructions to me.
like exactly how, when and what of her personal belongings i should mail.
i like to consider myself a mature woman, somehow herself often manages to enrage me and i end up behaving with all the bravado of an insolent teenager. for example...
my last two texts in reply to her emailed instructions!

"due to the fact that you broke up with me and you refuse contact i no longer have to obey your every fucking demand. i will post the bloody stuff when it suits me!"

i followed this up about thirty seconds later with...

"btw i have no need for your bloody money i start work next week"

really grown up stuff! needless to say herself felt no need to answer. twelve hours later i was overcome with remorse at my childish behaviour...
same old, same old...will i ever learn?

by now the woman has really got herself up my nose. i had been breezing along, quite content with the status quo. after all it was my discovery and decision which led to our break up. i had decided that i was no longer comfortable with the idea of us living together. who am i kidding...comfort had nothing to do with it...fear was the motivating emotion! fear that i would have to change my whole life in order to compensate herself for leaving hearth and home!
so now with a few curt emails and texts she has reinstated thoughts of herself into my poor confused mind. as i mentioned before...no bloody backbone...

i digress... we were discussing my need to dial her number in order to see what happened. must have been about 23.00 my time, i had enjoyed a few glasses of good red with my meal. i was mellow and inquisitive. i dialed the blocked number...
whoops... her answering machine clicked in, i cut the connection...how boring, is that how a blocked phone works?
needless to say there was a short email in my inbox when i awoke.

"I will call Verizon Monday and ask them why the block is not working."

the adolescent in me rejoiced at the degree of discomfort my call had elicited.
Damn why is it so difficult to be a nice person?