wednesday's child

today is wednesday, i was born on a wednesday ... wednesday's child is full of woe.
well, actually, i was not - full of woe. the child me was pretty happy go lucky.

the adolescent me, now that was another story entirely.
hormones screwed with me, teenage angst, och man!

then i grew up and developed 'post natal depression' and eventually ... 'a chemical imbalance'.
you would never know that i was a depressive, no way, i am so full of happy pills, i have almost forgotten how to be miserable.

almost but not quite.
lack of misery is not a good place for this poet to dwell. generally, my writing thrives on extremes. sadness, anger, disappointment, passion, and occasionally a little joy. not too much though! in times of emotional famine, i find even minor irritation inspirational..

where was i...
today is wednesday and at 11.00am i have my second appointment with the stop smoking nurse.
the hour of nicotine denial draws ever closer.

i need not worry about the weight i will gain when i stop smoking. oh no, it seems that even contemplating the loss of my beloved smokes causes my weight to climb!

this morning i was on the verandah smoking, watching the world go by and luxuriating in the thought of my soon to be ultimate misery - life sans nicotine.
my woe levels were rising rapidly! and then ...
my mind went off on a path of it's own and started calculating.
how much money would persistent self denial in the camel stakes save me?

at least £25.00 a week ... yoiks that is minimum ... a hundred pound a month!

good grief! that is £1200.00 a year!!

huh ...

holidays, cruises.

sailing the norwegian fjords.

the great wall of china.

the nile.

an olivia cruise!!

who needs jangling nicotine nerves? time to go where i have never dared before ... the land of no smoke.

uh oh!