euphoria

she tells me
that on the scale of normal
i am a little off
nothing bad you understand
bi polar one
saying i love you
with too much feeling
falls under the heading
euphoria
how very boring
deep feelings are caused by
mental instability
no really
fuck



she tells me
that i write poetry
when my state is
euphoric
while i might agree
that i am hardly normal
i often wonder
if discussing my ups and downs
in psychiatric terms
is a less than positive sign
in a hoped for
romantic liason
time to reconsider
fuck

she tells me
that my rising fury
makes her laugh
because it is so ludicrous
how very unfortunate
to so dismiss my feelings
i wonder does she laugh
at her patients
or do dollars somehow
repress the need to
smirk and chuckle
am i a lover
or a patient
fuck

i tell myself
red anger rising
bursting peaceful banks
flooding my mind
is uncomfortable
but oh so inspirational
my ego sings
of freedom to bring chaos
into my placid world
invite her in
and you will write forever
feeding on the pain
of turmoil
fuck

i tell myself
tread wary woman
there is more to life
than poetry
would you sell yourself so cheap
sacrifice
the quiet depths of self
the peace, the quietude
on the desperate alter
of art
turn aside
while you are still whole
for you were not born to pain
fuck

Copyright © 2004-2009 by Eryll Oellermann